


Conflicted

by Oyasumi



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 23:58:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oyasumi/pseuds/Oyasumi
Summary: A very short piece I wrote while I was inspired after watching A Single Pale Rose.  There are major series spoilers, so proceed with caution if you haven't seen the episode.





	Conflicted

Sometimes, the whole rebellion felt like a lie to Pearl. 

Or maybe it wasn’t the rebellion. Maybe she just felt like  _ she _ was the lie.

The other Crystal Gems had all left something behind. They left their homes, they left their fellow gems, they left their Diamonds, to come join the rebellion. Pearl acted out her part well to blend in with the rest of them. She laughed and played along with Bismuth, answering her joking question of “who does this Pearl belong to?” with a proud “no one!”

In reality, her Diamond was standing across the room from her in their headquarters, chatting with other Crystal Gems. Pearl’s loyalty to her had never swayed, not even once. She would shatter or be shattered for her Diamond. She would probably obey her Diamond’s commands for the rest of her life, if she was issued them - and that security made her feel content.

Sometimes, Pearl tried to convince herself that her whole rebel persona wasn’t a facade. ‘It’s not the same as it was when we were on Homeworld,’ she would say to herself. Her Diamond - no, Rose Quartz - wasn’t her owner anymore. She had become Rose Quartz so they could both be free. Pearl was allowed to pursue her own interests and make friends with other gems and do whatever she pleased. The only orders Rose gave her these days were more like requests, made by the Crystal Gem’s leader.

Yet somehow, it still seemed like a sham to Pearl.

What was real and what wasn’t?  Pearl loved Rose Quartz, but Pearl had loved Pink Diamond too and there wasn’t enough of a distinction between her feelings for Rose Quartz and her feelings for Pink Diamond. When Rose praised her with a smile, Pearl felt like she could never love anything in the entire universe as much as she loved Rose. Sometimes it was almost too much for her to bear. Was that the pre-programmed loyalty of a pearl, or something more sincere? Even she wasn’t sure.

When they were alone together and Pink Quartz pulled her close, Pearl decided it really didn’t matter, as long as the feeling never went away.

**Author's Note:**

> The last part, where Pearl called her Pink Quartz, wasn't a mistake. I wanted to show how her feelings were blending. I wrote this quickly while I was feeling inspired last night, so if there are issues or typos that's why. (Let me know if you spot any!)


End file.
